Battlecoms III - Waiting Game

Zerrah:   He's not coming back, you know.
Jaxley: Oh, but he will.
Zerrah: He knows we're out here, he saw us. Why did we drop cloak in the first place?
Jaxley: Well, you know, having your brain wired to sensitive cloaking systems for maybe the third time ever, people shouting HULK ON SCAN! out of nowhere...
Zerrah: Whatever. It's gone now anyway.
Jaxley: If by "gone" you mean deaf, blind and guaranteed to show up at this exact spot once he fires up his systems again.
Zerrah: I dunno much about exhumers, but I'm pretty sure they could outlast a Nemesis as far as floating in space doing nothing goes.
Jaxley: Exhumers maybe, exhumer pilots not so much. You just gotta have faith in people's stupidity.
Zerrah: I'm sitting in a stealth bomber that's got blasters and rocket launchers welded onto it. I sure as hell am a believer.
Jaxley: I will have no such talk on my Ninja Tristan. You shall not dishonor its crew of proud space ninjas.
Zerrah: *Sigh*
Jaxley: Come on, sneaking up on those two rookie miners the other day was pretty cool.
Zerrah: And hilarious. But dishing out 20-something million ISK for a couple laughs?
Jaxley: Well worth it. Besides, this guy is about to pay us five times its value.
Zerrah: What guy? I don't see anyone.
Jaxley: Aren't you a delight today.
Zerrah: I just hate wasting time.
Jaxley: Ah but see: we're investing time.
Zerrah: Oooh so savvy!
Jaxley: Fine, be like that. You sure you wanna be a prober once we get you into a capsule?
Zerrah: If I want to get into a pod someday, I don't have much of a choice in the matter, do I?
Jaxley: Hmm. No.
Zerrah: Guess I'll have to make do th- Hang on, local +1. ID is Hulk pilot!
Jaxley: Awww yeeah! All crew to battle stations!
Zerrah: Hulk on overview, landing... 6 off!
Jaxley: Prepare to engage warp scrambler and lock target on my mark. Setting course for target. Dropping cloak - mark!
Zerrah: Point!
Jaxley: Engaging afterburner, establishing close orbit. All weapons open fire.
Zerrah: Target is taking steady damage, no drones so far.
Jaxley: Looks like no stabs either, excellent. Invite him to our ransom channel.
Zerrah: Roger... He rejected.
Jaxley: So rude. Let's keep shooting then.
Zerrah: Local still clear, target is taking armor damage.
Jaxley: Invite him again.
Zerrah: Another rejection. Hull breach detected on target.
Jaxley: Some people... All weapons cease fire. Transmit a message through local coms: "Last chance, buddy. 150 million ISK."
Zerrah: Message transmitted.
Jaxley: Let's give him a little while to reconsider.
Zerrah: 150 might be kinda steep though.
Jaxley: Well, he's supposed to make some effort and haggle. But I think this is as good as it's gonna get. Open fire, prepare to lock pod. Disengaging afterburner.
Zerrah: Target popped. Locking pod - gone.
Jaxley: Bummer. Approaching wreck, let's grab the remains.
Zerrah: Looks like his cloaking device survived; and a couple rubbish drones.
Jaxley: Meh, 'bout 6 mil. Alright, let's head back to get a salvager and clean up this mess.

I must admit, stalking space unseen and preying on easy but easily scared targets is way too much fun. Certainly spices up slow days where good fights are hard to come by.

I've had a number of other plain hilarious episodes while out in my Ninja Tristan (which goes by the name "Dunuh Dunuh Dunuh"). It really excels at catching other stealth bombers on jumpgates, pesky loot thieves and more bombers. I like how I can fit out almost two "proper" stealth bombers by now thanks to its shenanigans.

The next ship I buy is gonna be a fierce BATTAL HELIOS. Huzzah!

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